Alabama is Voldemort

In the spirit of one of my favorite book and movie series, "Harry Potter," effective immediately, the Alabama football team, and any insinuation of, about, or to the Crimson Tide will now be referred to only as "Team Who Must Not Be Named" and their coach only as "You Know Who." This rule will be strictly enforced and use of any banned words is punishable by watching close ups of John Parker Wilson (aka Sara Jessica Parker) over and over again. This includes you, Mrs. Carroll, as you are in Tiger Country.